Oh, You Rap?

(This will probably be the last thing I'll post on here before A Bitch Named Gender goes live on Friday. I want to thank this blog for waking me up. I needed this. AJ was right, "All you gotta do is write, Ci. Just write.")

“I rap” has turned in to “I model” to me. What dude doesn’t rap, knows someone that raps, produces rap or tries to hide the fact that they rap? Don’t get me wrong, rapping itself ain’t the problem here. The problem is when you use it as a pre-requisite pick-up line.

Like, am I supposed to be moved by that? Tell me about your REAL job. You know, the one that actually pays the rent and supports the Foamposite habit. Preface that shit as a hobby and maybe we’ll talk. I don’t know, maybe being in Philly (‘every dude is a rapper’ central) has diluted that feeling for me, but saying that you rap doesn’t make my labia majora swell. It just doesn’t.

I just wish that people would put their best foot forward with their honest selves in the forefront. If you tell me that you like to watch, I don’t know, like One Tree Hill or some WB/CW shit, but that’s true to who you are, I’ll respect the shit out of you for that. You get points for that. The fuck you hiding yourself for? I don’t know, sometimes I feel like the logic behind attractiveness isn’t as objective as people are making out to be. Being a rapper doesn’t always attract the pretty girl but it might attract the bopper.

Vice versa. You’re attracted to what you’re attracted but you always attract who you are. If you’re out in these streets putting up fronts for people, you’re only going to attract those who like your false identities. Rapping isn’t the first, second, third or last thing that you do. It falls somewhere in the middle. Present in order of importance.

The problem with that logic though is when rap really is your vice. Philadelphia taught me that for every three dudes who really ain’t shit when it comes to rapping, there is one kid that is actually on his grind to make things happen. How far does the support go? I was faced with that. The kid went HARD but I knew in my heart that his dream only had so far to go especially since every Philly rapper was on their Meek Mill shit. You can only pull that “you can do it whatever you want to do” line out of the hat so many times before a dude starts to ignore it.

I can’t even remember the kid’s name. He’s a blur to me but he completely diluted whatever feelings I could have towards someone who raps. It really is like every Black man’s pipe dream now. Supporting alleged pipe dreams is hard. The problem arises when this person is extremely talented and noted for what they do. How long do you sit there and let them believe that this shit is really going to happen? Their talent, ability and skill say yes. Statistics says no. That isn’t a good feeling at all.